it’s not marketing

for me, it’s neither marketing nor branding.
all i want to do, is to figure out what SD is.. what is it really is for everyone,

i’d like to set it as a realization of sd’s identity …

i just want to figure it out

if we can figure it out, then we can see how does it really look like… via our eyes…

let’s see

anthropology of politics in school of design..

i see the power are floating around…

i love to observe and do enthrography every day…

but i’m also fulfilling my duty as designer. i’m not pretending.

原來一個人來到一個新的地方，自己或他者，也會在試探你的權力有多大，
就像跳進水裡，縱然你懂得浮水，也想知到水有多深，池邊有多遠。

a job

if it’s a job that u agree to take up,
then u need to get into it with enthusiasm.

and there’s sth that i really want to get it done.

i can have my own way to deal with it.

相機

i need to bring along my camera, to bring myself alive~

又遠了

Ｘ街了，看來我又走遠了。

greediness pushes u further away. damn

identity crisis.

who r u anyway? who r u following? damx, i belong to no one. neither myself.

愛蓮說

朋友們，這是我的新工作座位。

淹沒在各RA同事之中，堆積在亂葬崗般的雜物堆裡，
我喜歡！
我要把這裡變成我的花園。
第一天買了石竹蘭，第二天買了白禪，放在枱前和枱尾，被一股香氣包圍著~
下一步要想想怎樣把陽光*從窗子拉進來。

[click to see the full image, it's a very long one]

座位一覽：
﹣把泳衣晾起來的，是鄰座RA的位子，連他/她的名字也不知道。
﹣窗子在很遠處
﹣第一天在工作的那個明明是個男來的，第三天坐著的卻是個女的，奇怪。
﹣用white board 遮擋著，idea不錯，我也有個G5 PowerMac頂住，不遜。
﹣雀巢檸檬茶，每次喝它也令我想起在SD的那些日子，現在每天也喝一罐。很喜歡用八達通”do”機，拍掣，直至檸檬茶罐子跌下來的聲音 (下次錄下來給你們聽！)
﹣cinema display, 20″的, 不錯, 但用起來像17″的樣子
﹣電腦跟得上我的節奏，做起事來才順暢
﹣多得那時在教院的日子，現在我很懂的找電話找人幫忙。多謝海哥、鍾sir、Albert!!
﹣SD的 full-time staff contact list，80幾個人， 3張A3 vertical 才列印得完，每次找ext. 也要triple-check 才肯定，很容易打錯。
﹣原來我是跟老遠的RA同事share同一條line, 接了兩趟她的電話，並說：「arr… 沒有這個人… 我是新來的… um … 你等等, 我找contact list, ar…. 對不起, contact list 太長呢~~~~ 點算？ ahh… ahhhhh 找不到… … 對不起」

﹣還沒有書架，枱面上是一堆SD過去那些很不consistent 的booklet, brochure…
﹣我在用SD那些最舊式的locker, 很classic, 被人坐”笠”了，抽屜差點也拉不開。
﹣後面是一堆看似垃圾的雜物，不時有人過來摷東摷西
﹣有個黑色有咖啡跡的杯子，不知是誰留下來的，jolie嗎？

除了這裡，我還是很喜歡拿著staff card “do”來 “do” 去，大大力的去邊推邊踢一道又一道的防火門，很爽耶！這是運動的一種ar。

畢竟，對我來說，這裡是一個很重要，很多回憶，很多轉變的地方。
這是一所學校，我在這裡開始學懂學習。

星期五晚跟舊老闆看了進念的The Life and Times of Louis i.Kahn 2007.
script很短，但每一句像是跟我最近須想的有所連繫：

SCHOOL

“I think of school as an environment of spaces where is good to learn. Schools began with a man under a tree, who did not know he was a teacher, discussing his realization with a few who did not know they were students . . . the existence-will of school was there even before the circumstances of a man under a tree. That is why is good for the mind to go back to the beginning, because the beginning of any established activity is its most woderful moment.”

School began with a man under a tree
who did not know he was a teacher
discussing his realizations with a few others
who did not know they were students
spaces were erected and the first schools became

DESIGN
is a demand of an understanding of order.

雖然Louis Kahn有３個女人令我有點反感(stupid me.. )，但他這些想法令我不得不去借書細閱看看。
好！星期一去library借書！

很anthro. 很根本方式的思考，
或許，每一個學科都是這樣子。
或許，人走得遠了，想得遠了，便會忘了根本，忘了本，那可以是另一番天地，也可以是迷失。
所以我們才喜歡把東西寫下來，怕迷失，忘了本。

＊For Kahn it was natural light that brought architecture to life; the artificial light had an unvarying “dead” quality in contrast to the ever-changing daylight. Light, for him, was not only an instrument of our perception of things, but the very source of matter itself. It represented nature with all her laws by which all matter is bound together.

這就是緣囉

我把雙全的書送了給陸智昌。
又把陸智昌的書送了給雙全。

兩人事前並不認識，
機緣巧合下竟在北京相遇~
ah ah ah ah~~~~
收到雙全的電郵後開心得瘋了，跟朋友bala bala的說著，比中六合彩還要快樂~~

不是很快樂嗎？
很有趣，很玄妙喎~
這是名符其實的因書而結緣。

人生比電影還要好看。

我真的很累了。

很累。

為何不放手讓我走
還要添一點咀咒

趁還未太壞便要離開

既然我相信我的感覺，便要離開。

joy, louis khan

That, to him,
was “joy.” “If you don’t feel joy in what you’re doing,” he told the
assembled students, “then you’re not really operating.”You will probably
experience great frustration as architects, “but really,” he concluded,
surely referring to himself, “joy will prevail.”

[from here]

so, if i sense joy wouldn’t come as usual i’d rather leave before joy vanishes.

for everthing, everything

fuxk the whole damx world!

y do u always make me feel that being comfortable is a sin! fuxk!

some people believe one should persue everything to a single goal or task until they really achieve it.

i’d rather believe in following joy

joy is the only motivation to make life continue.

i’m jumping around by following the joy,
it’s never a thoughtless step when u believe in your sense!!!!!

u dun know me!
u dun know that what else can make me excited.
things should never be single-minded
work, family, friends, thoughts, love, play, dream, whatever~
even work, it’s not just for a single unit, for a particular small group of pple..

u dun know i’m involving this and that, this and that, this and that,
u dun know how much effort did i make
u dun know how much time i spent
fuxking hell
i’d already trying everything to do this and that, this and that,
y r u still pushing me to the cliff!!

u dun know joy can come many other ways

u dun know me

u dun know me!

u dun know me!!

u dun know me!!!

fuxk!

花園

我要在我的角落，建一個花園。
i need some fresh air, green, sunshine, stupid jokes and a big window!

just to remind myself not to be buried by the mess.

get things done!
create my own time & space!

last day & first day

okay, friends.
I have to release something in my mind. so, get ready for this.

24 april 2007 (tue)
my last day in mccm.

25 april 2007 (wed)
my first day in new place. (actually, it’s a familiar one)

the strongest feeling and idea came to my mind is…
i really really really have to thank mary.
she really taught me so so so so so much.
otherwise i won’t be able knowing how to do this and that… this and that.

working with her really train me up as a very independent person who knows what to do and not to do ..

met so much new colleagues..
some are familar people, some are new in SD, too

for the old, they wonder y i’m going back..
i feel bad.
really.

cos’ it sounds like …
people assuming that
going back to school to work is an escape and backward step in life…
assuming that one should get away from the school as far as one can…

i wonder if we can change another angle to see things differently?
i wonder if we can redefine this thought?
damn..

going back … cos’ i need to solve my own problems…
and i know it’s one of the steps in my life.,
it’s one of the best solutions for everyone, i think.
it doesn’t mean i’d quit from the publishing,
it doesn’t mean i’d leave mccm alone forever,
it doesn’t mean i won’t work on my own projects..
damx…
…
…

some new collagues asked me about my previous job.
and i just kept telling them this and that of my time in mccm with an exciting mood~

but it’s so ironic.. cos’ i quit it..

u know, things are complicated..

let’s see what i’ve planned.
u’ll know.

+ i must get a chance to learn from 6guns one day!!!!!!

busy

okay.
we are all busy.
26-30.
we are all busy for our ‘dreams’ & ‘career’.
is that the start of our ‘golden period’?

&(R%*#&*#

仆＊冚Ｉ（＃＄０
快*(*+@#+$)做埋佢la,
壇壇野都3e9r49(*()#*$咁#@*耐都未做＠＊＃（完
* 你!

對彩票

友人體內長了一條電影蟲，
蟲一動，癮便來。

電影節之時，她體內的蟲兒當然是動過不停，
過往沒有訂票習慣的我也”搭了單”，
買了12場。

時間、地點、戲名，我就是沒有mark下來，
每天過著對彩票的日子，
把一疊戲票從信封拿出來，
對一對今天有沒有戲看，
有，便中了獎的心情，
遇著好看的電影就像中了大獎，
悶的，便當抽空睡個覺，小休一會 (hahaa… )

12場，missed了一場。

餘下來的”彩票”是新買的懷斯康堤和Emilie Simon concert~~~

hohoho…

原諒/不原諒

誰原諒了誰也好，
總之，終於覺得原諒了自己。

放下了一些。

書櫃

*($)#*&(*#&(*#&(*(*你個宜家傢俬!!!!!

衣櫃買了２個月，
櫃的層板還未有貨，
x你xx….

早前失常地買的書，全都安置在衣櫃內，
衣櫃成了書本徒置區。

（打了格仔的全是放在籃子上的衣服，亂糟糟，太難看了…)

“bright future”

都說過了，
臉上的粉刺跟腦裡的煩惱總是成正比，
而且兩者成了極敏感的反射性關係。

愈來愈糟，終於去看了皮膚科醫生，
除了改善生活習慣外也要靠藥和藥膏把新陳代謝調節正常，
醫生說需時４個月。
現在過了３星期已有了明顯的改善。

細看一下，其中一款藥的膠囊印著”bright future”
不知是藥廠名稱還是藥名，
總之名字就是改得好啦。
每服一趟也會remind著粉刺消退後便會有一個bright future!

ha, 起碼這３星期為止，我沒有忘了服藥呢。

這種小東西令我想起dunne & ruby 的 PLACEBO project。